Dead Beautiful

I kept my head low and wished that those jerks don’t see me. I walked faster, trying to get to my locker through the crowd of bullies, but was unsuccessful as I was shoved into the nearest locker.
I still kept my eyes down, not daring to look up at them. I could feel their breaths on my face. I could feel the students gathering to watch the show, they always do but ‘do’ nothing.
I was claustrophobic and I could hear my heart beat increasing, I knew I would faint any minute now. I couldn’t hear anything as I was having trouble breathing, the only thing I knew was that they were punching me like I was their personal punching bag and was calling me names. I couldn’t remember what happened after that.
I just know I woke up in the infirmary and was sent home like almost everyday. This was my daily routine, wake up in the morning, come to school, get bullied, wake up on infirmary bed, sent home, have dinner and then cut.
You would say how weak I am for letting them walk on me and then do self harm. But you don’t understand me, it’s been like this for years and years.
Today was the same as usual but somehow I felt more broken and weak than before. Today, after the dinner, I went to my room as usual. I locked the door and took out my blade.
One cut…
Two cut…
Three cut…
I usually stop at three and bandage them but today I was not able to stop.
Four…five…six…seven….and so on.

I don’t know how many cuts I made or when I stopped but I know that whenever it was the feeling of overwhelming had filled me. And that was the end…
What nobody knew was that on losing her not only her family cried but the guy who lived 3 houses down the lane too, the same guy who had bullied her all these years.
What nobody knew was he loved her but was too afraid to show his feelings. His friends used to make fun of him for liking her. He used to take out all his anger on her thinking it would make his feelings go.
What nobody know is he had visited her grave…he had seen her lifeless laying in the casket. And as usual she was beautiful as ever but now DEAD BEAUTIFUL…
One should never let anyone or anything get to them so much. Your life is precious, don’t end it because of something.


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