The fairytales that I read, were they wrong ? I don’t want to believe it but do I have a choice ? I had a choice, my choice which no one listened to.
I had a fairytale life. I was the princess, my parents princess. Now? Now, I am going to be a queen, a ‘trophy’ queen. Is this what my life has become?
Everything was organized, each and everything. The flowers were white with red and the chairs, each, had a blue bow. The piano was ready to be played.
Guests had arrived, I heard someone say. Was I ready for all this ? I don’t know.
My dress was hanging on the rod adjacent to the big fat mirror. I was tempted to say, “o mirror, mirror on the wall, what have I done for life to hate me?” But I remained silent with silent tears.
My hair was being tucked, curled, waved, braided. The beads were pretty, not that the ringlets weren’t. It fell perfectly, it fitted my face, except I wasn’t fitted in this position of life to be.
My mother was scolding me, the words fell on deaf ears. I can’t hear! Is it normal? I can’t understand a word. Is this what fear makes you do?
Makeup fixed, hair done, I stepped into the dress. It was beautifully white. Such a pure color for such an impure function.
No one was allowed to say anything. Lips were locked and sealed, the key thrown out of the common sense and emotion Land of the brain into the zombie world of emotionless river.
Dad had a proud smile or was it a sadistic one ? As he walked me down the aisle, the urge to break free and run away was pulsating but so was the hold of his on my hand tightening.
Looking forward I could only see the wrongs in this relationship. He was handsome in a wedding suit but it was all wrong. The negativity was increasing, the devils were laughing.
In front of me stood a man of six feet two with a strong jawline and a tiny dimple near his smirking lips. If he wasn’t my dad’s friend, triple my age of sixteen, maybe then, then I would have been attracted to those blue eyes which now only shows the lust and need in him.
This was wrong on so many levels, but the key to the lock on my vocal cords was thrown somewhere, far far away.
Everyone having sympathetic look, they couldn’t meet my eyes. The answers to my questions were unanswered, why me? I had simply asked.
With this wedding, the companies were merging, both the partners gaining. Then why was I losing ? Why am I being sacrificed ?
Is this the happily ever after of my life ? Happily must mean something else then. Maybe ‘misery’ being the right word.